So, here’s the thing: we’re running out of money. We’ve been back in Kansas City for about two months and with the job market the way it is, I’ve started to leave my MA off my resume. It’s a change that I hope will yield some kind of response from employers. Until now, every application I’ve submitted has met with a dead end. The railroad job is nonexistent and the news continually looks bleak. I want to give myself to the Lord and let Him do what He will with me, but I still get pulled into what my mind and body tell me. I am in survival mode now. I will do anything to make a living, besides steal and kill of course. I don’t want to stick with a job that is not paying what I need to be making. At this point, I don’t want to make more than we need to get by, even! All I need to do is trust the Lord and all this will eventually work out. No matter how many times I hear that, I can’t help wondering what good this will do for us. I hate this feeling I have in the pit of my stomach every time we do bills and we get closer to the edge… GOD, please stop the enemy from filling my head with this garbage! It’s insane to think that you haven’t planned everything that’s going on here for some greater purpose. I can see that society is starting to think before it spends, but I just want a job! God, help me to find that job that will be enough for my family. Thank you for being that benevolent, wonderful Father to us. God, I love you.
January 19, 2009 • 5:23 am 0
Working out
So, the working out has been going pretty well lately. I haven’t skipped, though I’ve wanted to. I was sick for a week and when it came to getting back to it, I was not the most enthused person on Earth. Thank GOD! I prayed about it and now here I am, on the verge of having a second straight week of loss in our little contest! I can’t take it for granted though! God does amazing things when it comes to health, but I don’t want for a second to think that I am doing this alone.
Filed under: fitness
January 15, 2009 • 4:02 pm 0
Nature of the Bible
Have you ever thought about the purpose of the Bible? Do we have to memorize everything in it in order to be closer to God? Must we have a scripture ready in case we come upon a demon in an alleyway? If someone’s never read the Bible, are they unable to speak to God?
I’ve had trouble in the past letting go at church. I stand in the row, listening to the music and looking around at the people around me. I’ve never been able to ignore everyone else and focus on my own relationship with God. Ridiculous! What a superficial, stupid thing to do!
Filed under: Uncategorized
January 14, 2009 • 6:31 am 0
Obedience by Faith
1 John 4:20-21 (New King James Version)
20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can[a] he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.
I find myself chasing at God’s coat tails a lot. He’s like the coolest kid in school and I’m that kid who’s always sniping at the others who want to share in His light. God, I confess what you already know: I conceal a hateful heart when it comes to those around me. It doesn’t matter if I’m driving or watching television, there’s something I don’t like about people whom I’ve never met. Why!? It’s the most ridiculous thing ever to dislike someone like that! Even those who would do something to us directly we are taught to “turn the other cheek.” I, however, have made it a point to find something, anything at all, to be mad about. Why do I do this? For a long time, I have been building anger within me. It’s a sin that I have scarcely looked into and now that I am, I find no good reason for it. Pent up angst at not being where I am, I suppose. God wants me to trust in Him! Doing that, there’s nothing to be hateful of or mad at. Well, one can be mad, but for the right reason. This empty anger masks something deeper, something has to fill the hole in me. Right? NO! Be filled with the Holy Spirit. Seek Him and be filled!
God, I pray that those times when I find myself welling up with unreasonable hatred are instead turned toward you. Pray that I am blessed with a spirit of amity and brotherhood, where I can be alive in you, Lord God. Amen.
Filed under: 1 john, fellowship, prayer, verse
• 6:06 am 0
Downturn
Tonight, my step dad reiterated how bad it is down in the yards. Yes, I know. I get it! They still aren’t going to call… I still have to work a job that’s beneath me… blah blah blah. It’s as if the world is attacking me, making me feel like there’s not other course than to try for those high paying jobs out there. Wow, funny how that works!
Filed under: Uncategorized , world
January 11, 2009 • 8:25 pm 0
Rededication!
I rededicated myself to the Lord today! I was so moved I didn’t realize my feet were carrying up to the altar. I felt completely in His hands and I have reopened myself to Him! I have been feeling off lately. I knew that the Lord was doing something to me, but didn’t know what it was until today. Today, January 11, Jesus pulled me up by the back of my shirt and put me where I needed to be!
Filed under: Uncategorized
January 10, 2009 • 5:40 am 0
Seven Pounds
• 5:36 am 0
New group
Stacey and I started a new group at church tonight. It wasn’t at church but it involved people from it… Suppose that was more explanation than needed. Anyway, seems like it will be a great thing for us. We had an argument in the jeep prior to said meeting. It was something very stupid that I regret immensely. I know that’s how it always works, but it seems that I can’t help but get myself into those kind of troubles… back to work.
Filed under: Uncategorized
January 9, 2009 • 7:14 pm 0
“Nervous employers”
I don’t know about you, but I’m tiring of that term. I have been in the workforce for more than ten years and in that time I’ve never found a more skittish bunch of folks. In attempting to protect that which they have created, these people are doing more harm than good. In cutting people off at the knees, they are in fact creating the very problem they are trying to combat. Hearing that so many thousands of people have defaulted on their home loans, leaders in the business community have decided that people have no money to spend, have tightened up on their wallets to make ends meet. In order to combat this, they have set about a slash and burn tactic that appears to be doing what it’s set up to do. What the problem is with this strategy is that the jobs that are being cut are causing people to second guess those purchases that they would have made while they had jobs. The people in this country don’t purchase based on the cash they have. If they did, we’d still be fine. No, the American people have dug themselves into a big, deep, plush and fancy hole out of which they will never climb. It’s difficult for these people to have a Merry Christmas because A) they don’t think Christmas is about Christ & B) the more credit you have, the better you live. Don’t people realize that credit doesn’t give YOU ownership of anything?! It’s a terrible thing to be in debt of someone. Remember Romans 13:8, which follows:
“Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.”
It can’t be more plain. Stop this insanity! This nation cannot truly be a nation while we’re indebted to so many on so many different levels. It’s ridiculous that all these people have built these institutions that they hold so dear and for what? So they can’t destroy each other in the name of Commerce? I can’t handle it!
Filed under: Uncategorized , money
January 7, 2009 • 9:03 pm 0
Ethics and Job hunting
So I’m sitting here at my mildly dead end job, thinking about where I’m headed. Right now, I don’t feel like I’m heading anywhere. I sit in this cubicle until it’s time to go home, assigning claims to people as they come to me. Can’t get much more unfulfilling than that! So, what do I do? I’m the guy that has a Master’s degree in English, the propensity for writing, and nowhere to turn to hock my wares. I’ve decided that as the job search continues, I’m going to be leaving any evidence of my M.A. off my resume. I’m not saying that I’m not proud of my accomplishment, because I am. I just don’t think it’s good for me to have it rearing it’s ugly head at prospective employers. It’s been said by people far more lofty than myself that HR reps generally take only a few seconds to look the document over before they drop it in their pass/fail piles. I would have to say that it’s a bit unfair, but that’s beside the point. I’m assuming that my MA is catching eyes in the wrong way. Now, the question I have is: “Is it ethic to omit something like that in order to get a job?” Of course, I’ll consult the Boss about this, but I wanted to see if there’s anyone out there in a similar circumstance.
