So, here’s the thing: we’re running out of money. We’ve been back in Kansas City for about two months and with the job market the way it is, I’ve started to leave my MA off my resume. It’s a change that I hope will yield some kind of response from employers. Until now, every application I’ve submitted has met with a dead end. The railroad job is nonexistent and the news continually looks bleak. I want to give myself to the Lord and let Him do what He will with me, but I still get pulled into what my mind and body tell me. I am in survival mode now. I will do anything to make a living, besides steal and kill of course. I don’t want to stick with a job that is not paying what I need to be making. At this point, I don’t want to make more than we need to get by, even! All I need to do is trust the Lord and all this will eventually work out. No matter how many times I hear that, I can’t help wondering what good this will do for us. I hate this feeling I have in the pit of my stomach every time we do bills and we get closer to the edge… GOD, please stop the enemy from filling my head with this garbage! It’s insane to think that you haven’t planned everything that’s going on here for some greater purpose. I can see that society is starting to think before it spends, but I just want a job! God, help me to find that job that will be enough for my family. Thank you for being that benevolent, wonderful Father to us. God, I love you.
January 14, 2009 • 6:31 am 0
Obedience by Faith
1 John 4:20-21 (New King James Version)
20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can[a] he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.
I find myself chasing at God’s coat tails a lot. He’s like the coolest kid in school and I’m that kid who’s always sniping at the others who want to share in His light. God, I confess what you already know: I conceal a hateful heart when it comes to those around me. It doesn’t matter if I’m driving or watching television, there’s something I don’t like about people whom I’ve never met. Why!? It’s the most ridiculous thing ever to dislike someone like that! Even those who would do something to us directly we are taught to “turn the other cheek.” I, however, have made it a point to find something, anything at all, to be mad about. Why do I do this? For a long time, I have been building anger within me. It’s a sin that I have scarcely looked into and now that I am, I find no good reason for it. Pent up angst at not being where I am, I suppose. God wants me to trust in Him! Doing that, there’s nothing to be hateful of or mad at. Well, one can be mad, but for the right reason. This empty anger masks something deeper, something has to fill the hole in me. Right? NO! Be filled with the Holy Spirit. Seek Him and be filled!
God, I pray that those times when I find myself welling up with unreasonable hatred are instead turned toward you. Pray that I am blessed with a spirit of amity and brotherhood, where I can be alive in you, Lord God. Amen.
Filed under: 1 john, fellowship, prayer, verse
December 19, 2008 • 10:11 pm 0
Short prayer
I pray for the safety of my wife and daughter during their drive to Minnesota. God, please keep them safe!
Filed under: prayer
June 27, 2008 • 6:02 am 0
God, I pray tonight for many things. I don’t know what to start with. I am certain that you know what’s in my heart and will answer to that each and every day. I pray that I be sensitive to your leading and teaching. I pray that you forgive all those thoughts I might have that are selfish and misguided. I don’t want to be perfect. I know that is not something I can obtain. I just want to be the man that You would have me be. God, thank you for everything that You do for us and give us. I hope that the small steps I’ve made will lead me in the right direction. I will follow You, no matter where it leads. Thank You for believing in me, God.
Filed under: prayer
April 17, 2008 • 2:33 am 0
Post
God, bless my wife and child as they lay down to sleep tonight. Thank you for giving them to me. Please help me to be the husband and father that they need and deserve.
Filed under: prayer
March 7, 2008 • 3:54 pm 0
I’m feeling defeated today. I just read my wife’s blog and can’t figure out what I’ve done. God, help me find what it is that I’ve done wrong and to see how to fix it. Thank you, though, for continuing to bless me in other ways. Also help me to see if staying on in the LTG is going to be something I should do or if I should stop going for the time being. Amen.
February 29, 2008 • 3:08 pm 0
God, please guide my hand and heart this morning. I find myself wondering where you want my family and I. Please God, help me to see what it is you want me to see. If there’s something that I’m not doing right, I pray that my eye will see what it is that you’re requiring of me. Please also watch over Stacey as she travels back home today and watch over Maddy while she’s away from us. I pray that she’s a good girl for her grandparents and aunts. Thank you for blessing me with Stacey and Maddy. I could not have asked for a better family. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
